When my wife was pregnant we went back and forth over and over again trying to figure out what to name our son. If you don't know me I am a huge nerd so I was looking to name him something from mythology or I really like the word Hero.To much of my dismay each name I suggested was shot down faster than the other. So out of spite I would do the same to my wife.
"How about Shiloh?" - No.
"Milo" - No.
"Colin" - Nope.
"Reegan" - No... wait..
According to babynames.com 'Reegan' means little king or ruler. My name is Rick which means brave ruler or king. My mind went racing at the possibilities and a montage of father son activities came flooding forward.
I could imagine me wearing boxers and a white tee shirt standing in front of the mirror shaving, with my little guy next to me on a step stool, face full of shaving creme, trying to imitate me. I immediately teared up and fell in love.
Being a new parent is a very surreal concept, when my wife told me we were having a baby I didn't think it was real. She started to get big, then bigger, and then huge - still it didn't hit me. Then the day came and we checked into the hospital. Family panicked, my wife was nervous, and I felt in the way. It still did not sink in - then the moment came.
The doctor handed me my son, my little king, and I couldn't speak. My eyes watered and a lump the size of a football felt it had made its home in my throat. I was powerless, I could not look away from my son's eyes. He looked at me, and I at him for what seemed like an eternity. We had just said hello but already it felt as if we had been best friends forever.
"How does it feel Dad?" said Kelly Wilson our doctor and a good friend. I looked at him eyes filled with water, unable to speak, and just nodded my head.
There was the moment you see on tv, it had finally sunk in. I was a father, but what the hell do I do now? There really aren't words to describe that feeling, I have tried to find one, nothing does it justice.
It's been seven months and I learn more every time I hold him. I am no where near the world's best father but I am trying. It is very hard going from being so selfish to being a dad, again I am trying.
